Your teeth sink into the cheese, sauce, and pepperoni, and you have to physically rip the slice out of your mouth to finish the bite. The single defining characteristic of pizza crust is that glorious, glutenous chew. It by no means resembles anything close to a pizza crust, but it’s objectively delicious. If you don’t have teeth, Pizza Hut is the way to go. The crust is buttery, and billowy, and cloud-like, and if you left it in your mouth for like 15 seconds, I’m pretty sure it would dissolve. And, depending on how you feel about Pillsbury Grands biscuits-you should feel pretty fucking good about them, though-this is a compliment. If you told me the ‘za artists at Pizza Hut popped open industrial-sized tubes of Pillsbury Grands biscuit dough and rolled them into circly bits before throwing sauce, cheese, and pork coins on top, I’d have no reason to think you were lying. Let’s get weird and analyze a few $8 pizzas more than any $8 pizza should ever rightfully be analyzed.Ī pan-pizza, hand-tossed Battle Royale. The wildcard pizza will act as a tiebreaker if that situation shall arise. Pizza Hut’s offering will be served with a pretzel crust, because apparently that exists now. God of internet randomness chose ham and jalapeno with BBQ sauce. So, for the second pizza that would satisfy the coupon, I decided to pick sauces and toppings using this super rad Random Thing Picker. We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel, but it would also be in bad form to ignore the newer, more foodie-facing innovations.
I don’t even like pepperoni all that much-sausage gang or die-but, come on, it’s pizza. I should not have to explain or defend this. Like, it’s 80% crust at that point.Īs far as toppings go, the main comparison had to be straight pepperoni vs. Plus, Domino’s only added pan pizza to the menu in 2012, and it only comes in medium, and ordering a medium pizza is stupid. You go to Taco Bell, you get a crunchy taco you go to Pizza Hut, you get a pan pizza. I chose pan pizza for Pizza Hut, and hand-tossed for Domino’s, both because those were the respective default choices on each chain’s website, and those are each chain’s core competencies. Those are both good deals.Ĭhoosing which crust to go with was tricky, but I feel I made the right call. Domino’s had two large two-topping pizzas for $19.99 total, and Pizza Hut had two large two-topping pizzas for $7.99 each.
DOMINOS PAN PIZZA SIZE FULL
You should never pay full price for a fast-food pizza. Rather than order a pizza straight up, I went to the online coupons section for both places and scoped out the best deals that would still be easily comparable. “When the impending nuclear holocaust finally happens and all Earth’s natural resources are controlled by fast-food chains in a proto-feudalist society, you’ll need to pick a side to fight for. Delivery and take-out account for more than 76% of the total pizza market for a reason. I appreciate that Pizza Hut pioneered the fast-food pizza buffet, but only a sociopath would eat a sit-down meal at Pizza Hut in 2017. I wanted to do my pizza analysis in the most natural environment possible, which meant it had to be delivered. There are a couple ground rules for the comparison.
The only thing I care about when ordering cheap delivery pizza is whose coupons were most recently in my mailbox. I’m coming into this thing completely neutral-the Switzerland of entirely manufactured pizza-chain pissing contests. When the impending nuclear holocaust finally happens and all Earth’s natural resources are controlled by fast-food chains in a proto-feudalist society, you’ll need to pick a side to fight for. You can waste your breath boosting Papa John’s, or Little Caesar’s, or Blaze all you want, but this was and always will be a two-horse race. In 2016, the two chains made up 69% (nice) of the total gross sales of the top 10 pizza companies combined. Ann Coulter as one of history’s all-time great rivalries.
Domino’s will go down alongside Magic Johnson vs.
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